Archives for May, 2006

Why not?

Although I’m loathe to share this with you, as it will affect my chances of winning, this is a great initiative.

If you win, I expect 45%.

05/31/2006 | Omphaloskepsis | No Comments

I often thought …

… that it was possible to live without any reference to the UK. Since leaving, in 1998, at the age of eighteen, I was convinced that there was nothing that would take me back.

Whenever I cross the Channel, the first stop is almost always the fish and chip shop (although battered sausage, chicken and mushroom pie and a portion of chips is my standard).

BUT – I am the recent recipient of a hamper full of Melton Mowbray pork pies, Bakewell tarts, a jar of piccalilli (I had to look that up, but still don’t know if it needs a capital letter), some flying saucers, a Cornish pasty, mint humbugs and wine gums. I haven’t been this happy or fat in a long time.

Take me home …

05/31/2006 | Omphaloskepsis | No Comments

Disappointment

I’m a lucky man. I have a girlfriend who thinks I’m great. At the moment, Mrs K is in Rijeka, apparently a town in Croatia, lecturing High Court Judges on the intricacies of EU law. I am inordinately proud. On top of that, she tolerates me and my foibles.

The latest was getting drunk and joining the Conservative Party. I’m convinced I would have made a great Tory MEP. I’m verging on the brink of disappointment. (Should I ever change my mind and decide that the British Right really is for me, then I’ll delete this posting and deny any knowledge of it.) UP FRONT hosted a beer festival this evening. I did my two hours swatting on UN reform and then headed over for a pint of Old Speckled Hen.

The idea was: celebration of all things British. Reality was: full of beardy tweedy types. On top of that, I met a handful of Tory parliamentary wannabes, who suggested that my adherence to the party for reasons of falling for a pretty parliamentary assistant were perhaps not the best.

Fact is: I was moved too quickly to swear my allegiance to an unknown quantity. Dilemma is: do I ‘fess up to being a lefty liberal?

In other news, apparently Nairobi is awash with Armenian mafia. Take care all who enter …

***

PS I have been enjoying a lot My Boyfriend is a Twat – this is a lady who has the rather fantastic knack of making the mundane unmissable … please go and have a look …

05/31/2006 | Belgium, Omphaloskepsis | No Comments

Distraction

You will have noticed that I’ve pimped Kim Bah Lee with a few adverts. Google Adsense has promised that I won’t have to work any more once I’ve peppered the screen with “contextual text ads”. Those of you with a Gmail account will notice the same ads alongside your messages.

I’m not allowed to ask you to click on them, so I won’t. I’m also not allowed to run around to my friends houses and click on them myself. Nor am I allowed to discuss my earnings, but if you want me to buy you a pint, you’ll have to wait another few months.

The idea is that the Google intelligence gremlins scan your blog for words that their advertisers might like, then they place appropriate text links. Given the subject matter that’s drawn people here in the past (see previous posts) this means that last time I had a look, I was greeted (gret?) with the words “Skin conditions, cellulitis cures, acne” at the top of the screen:

Which gives out the wrong message.

So no more talk about p*l*nidal cy*sts or sk*n c**ditions, no mention of l*mps in gr*ins and tragically, no more f*ce n*mb c**lulitis.

Instead we’ll see if we can trick them into promoting algebra, lawnmowers and recipes for asparagus.

And no blow-job bars.

05/30/2006 | Omphaloskepsis | No Comments

The Art of Procrastination

In an effort to get more productive I’ve been using the resources of various websites – Lifehacker, 43 Folders, Lifehack.org, David Allen’s Getting Things Done and others. I’ve been boosting my geek credentials. I’ve made organisers, diaries, to-do lists, life-plans. I’ve listened to the motivational speeches of Tony Robbins and Wayne Dyer. I’ve resolved and confirmed and asserted.

I wanted to maximise my studying time to retain knowledge and apply it usefully. I wanted my revision sessions to be nine parts books and one part staring out the window, not the other way around.

So far I’ve spent about sixteen hours reading up on overcoming procrastination. Haven’t done much else, mind.

05/27/2006 | Omphaloskepsis | No Comments

Self Destruction

I realise that the more I write about this, the worse it will become, but recent visitors have found this website by searching for “pictures of pilonidal cysts”, “aching in the groin whilst ill”, “bumrungrad hospital herpes” and my favourite, “face numb cellulitis”. Although I’m not sure I’m carving out the niche I intended, it makes a welcome change from “bangkok blow job bar”.

I’m two weeks away from finishing my exams. One down, three to go. Mrs K is frolicking in London, my parents are enjoying “best holiday of their lives” in the Med and I’m sitting in Brussels, trying to get excited about the politics of international economic relations. The International Politics of East Asia was a couple of weeks ago. I thought my last trip would have put me at an advantage, but there were disappointingly few questions about grasshoppers, bum guns or low-cost air travel.

Thinking about establishing Kim Bah Lee Books to keep me busy once I’m a graduate.

Later.

05/26/2006 | Belgium, Omphaloskepsis | No Comments