Birthday wishful thinking

Tomorrow is my birthday. I’ll be twenty-nine years old. Mrs K has intimated at the *mother* of all presents, but that won’t be here until Christmas, all things being well.

But I can’t wait that long to be showered with gifts. Here’s what I want:

  1. Netherland by Joseph O’Neill
  2. The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind by Julian Jaynes
  3. How NOT to Write a Novel by Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman
  4. How to Sell by Clancy Martin and
  5. The Junior Officers’ Reading Club by Patrick Hennessey

I’d also like the motivation necessary to get off my fat arse and:

  1. Get to the gym
  2. Write a novel that begins with the line “At the end of his garden, in a shed no bigger than his daughter’s new car, Charles Lamb Goodley reflected on his first experience of auto-asphyxiation, which on assessment had been rather underwhelming, and left him with a welt on his neck that reminded him of Australia.”
  3. Develop innate musical ability
  4. ->insert middle-class arriviste cliché here<-

Can you help?



June, 2009 | Omphaloskepsis

One Response to “Birthday wishful thinking”

  1. N
    06/23/2009

    Start learning Dutch ;) ?

Thinking something? Say something!