New Technology Aids Identity Theft

Consumers and businesses alike have been advised to be alert to groups of ruthless criminals stealing identities.

They are exploiting weaknesses (or a-holes) in passport security measures to change photographs of the bearer and open bank accounts, travel across international borders and collect supermarket reward points.

Police are urging caution and warn that until urgent changes are implemented, all efforts to protect your physical identity should be made.

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Not Big, Not Clever

Lily Allen rocked Brussels last night. She didn’t recognise me, even though I was close enough to smell her. She smelled alright. The guitarist was a kid I went to school with. He’s been all over the world playing a guitar. Not a bad job, I thought.

The past couple of weeks I haven’t been writing much because I wanted to be a spook, and thus discrete. But the intelligence service I applied to wasn’t intelligent enough to notice that I didn’t meet all the eligibility criteria from the off. Months and money have been wasted going to and from interviews for a job I wasn’t allowed to apply for. So now that’s a definite no, I can post naked pictures of myself on the internet computer and not worry about them falling into the hands of teerrrrists.

So to celebrate I got myself a MySpace account and am hooking up with various people I haven’t even thought about for ten years, including guitarists for famous pop stars. Reckon that’s a job I could do.