Entries Tagged 'Uncategorized' ↓

I bumped up my new mortgage by investing in a parking space.

There are fifty parking spaces in the garage.

Only one has a low ceiling. Not very low, just not high enough for, say, a big car.

There are fifty cars to go in those spaces. Only one is too big for the one space with a low ceiling.

There is, therefore, a one in 2500 chance that our car wouldn’t fit in the space.

And guess what?

There goes 25000 euros.

Tomorrow we should get the keys to our new house.

This has prompted my mother to insist that I write a will, in case “any distant relatives try to make claims on my estate”.

I suppose it’s a little more optimistic than my Dad’s insistence, a few years ago, that I take out life insurance. “Because if you die, getting your body back home will be bloody expensive”.

Another week, nothing gained. Nobody wants my furniture, apart from six gents in Nigeria, one of whom said:

HELLO
I AM INTERESTED IN BUYING ITEM .I LIVE HER IN THE U.S I WILL BE RESTPONSIBLE FOR THE SHIPPMENT DOWN TO MY LOCATION, SO PLEASE KINDLY WRITE ME BACK WITH YOUR LAST OFFERING PRICE,I ALSO NEED THE PIC ,I WILL THEREFORE NEED THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION OF YOURS TO FORWARD TO MY CLIENT BEFORE HE SENDS THE CHECK……
NEME IN FULL………..
ADDRESS IN FULL………
COUNTRY………….
ZIPCODE………..
CELL/OFFICE/HOMENUMBER
WAITING TO HEAR FROM
REGARDS
JOHNSON

You can’t have my neme, you can’t have my number, you can’t have my “special order delivery note by Western Union”. You, sir, are a Johnson.

And it’s very rare that I laugh out loud, particularly at the inane nonsense in the Blogosphere, but Harry Hutton of Chase me ladies made me do just that:

“We owe a great debt of gratitude to Britain’s teachers. If it weren’t for them we’d all be speaking German. And French. And Latin. And be able to do sums.”

This weekend I mean to do something.