Entries Tagged 'Vietnam' ↓

24 hours in Vietnam now. Friendliest people in the world live in the Mekong Delta. Apparently a bit different in the cities. Within two minutes of getting my passport stamped various ladies were enquiring as to the state of my dong. Luckily the chap on the boat had sorted my dong out for me …

I have walked around Can Tho twice, found a bank, had a coffee and chatted to an old lady in French for 20 minutes whilst standing in the middle of the road.

I am a dong millionaire, which explains the armed guard by the ATM. I could have used one in Phnom Penh on my last day when I was chased, quite comically, down the street by a dog. First I heard the yells from the house. Probably “Rover, no! You ate three days ago!” Then the patter of doggy hooves. Then the snarl, then the chase. I stopped dead. We had a standoff. I responded to his growls with equally aggressive sphincter shudders. Then I walked slowly backwards, which was the cue for the dog to follow. I looked around expecting to see amused faces on the locals who had gathered to watch. Instead they all looked slightly concerned. So I ran into the middle of the road. The dog had more sense than to follow me. It took me five minutes to get back to the pavement.

Safely in Vietnam, earlier today, I ordered a coffee perched on a foot-high plastic stool (me, not the coffee.)

Me: “Caa-fay”
Her: “[something in Vietnamese]”
Me: “Yes”
Her: “[something in Vietnamese]”
Me: “Yes”
Her: “[something in Vietnamese]”
Me: “Yes” … ad infinitum …

When the coffee arrives, it is sugared, black and poured over ice. Accompanying the coffee is a large pot of green tea, to be poured over the ice once you’ve finished your coffee. Tea follows coffee over here.

Which is, and was, wonderful.

Have only nine minutes left before my time runs out … so I’ll be brief.

Sat in a pizza joint on the Phnom Penh riverfront, trying to persuade the waitress - through the medium of mime - that if she insisted on me tasting the “happy” herb topping I’d likely pass out and/or be sick, when I saw a monkey.

The monkey was on a lead and being fed rice and Red Bull by its owner, a local expat. Quite a crowd had gathered. One gentleman, who had only one leg and was selling knocked-off paperbacks, was quite smitten. He then produced a rather large and very hairy spider. For a dollar, the monkey’s owner bought the tarantula and placed it on the floor in front of the monkey. The monkey pushed it around with its feet for a bit, before picking it up, plucking the legs off one by one and eating them with an enormous monkey grin on its face.

It was a special moment.

Off on a two day tour of the Mekong Delta, so lots of photos to follow. Felt like Colonel Kurtz today sailing into Vietnam.

PS the last email from my mum contained the words “morphosing into a gun slinging, beer swigging, morose alcoholic…” and she wasn’t talking about my dad.