Maltese policeman in international relations shocker!

It’s been a long time, old friends …

Since the last update I got engaged in a pub, went to an Irish wedding and imported a British car from Greece to Belgium.

In Malta, police sergeant Sant has been thrown into prison for beating up an old French lady. The French are boycotting Maltese products, which is requiring no great changes in purchasing behaviour.

Malta – nul points.

07/11/2007 | Malta | 1 Comment

tha sound of the police

I left work on the scooterino. In front of me there was a car jumping. It jumped three times and stopped. Then jumped again. The tailbacks were increasing, the horns honking, the tempers rising.
This Good Samaritan left his bike, key in the ignition, in a bus stop. In the poorest district of Brussels. With the highest gun-crime rate of all of Belgium. He offered his help. The East European lady in the driving seat smiled an uncomprehending flash of gold teeth and moved over. I jumped in.

I couldn’t start the car either. It had no clutch, but wasn’t an automatic.

I stalled twice.

Then the police arrived.

As getting out of the car and asking nicely if there was a problem, Robocop pulled up beside me and the Gypsy Queen, blue lights flashing and rolled out the loudspeaker. “Vous ne pouvez pas arreter ici! You cannot stop here!”

Wary of the implications of committing a traffic offence whilst driving without insurance in a stolen car in the company of an illegal immigrant, this Good Samaritan jumped out of the driving seat and ran away.

Happily, the scooter remained uninjured.

10/02/2006 | Belgium, Omphaloskepsis | No Comments

Dirty thieving bastards

I’m being screwed up the Bois de la Cambre at the moment – a LETTER ALL IN CAPITALS FOR ADDED THREAT came from the police with a 60 euro fine for driving in a street I wasn’t meant to drive in. 60 fucking euros for two metre diversion. Bastards.

In addition, my credit card isn’t working because I’ve got a mystery 900 euro payment on it – the bank card company only work during office hours, but the useless twunt at the bank tells me it’s “quite normal. If you don’t see a recipient for the cash on the statement it’s because Visa have blocked a certain amount for the end of the month so you don’t overstretch yourself.” Great. Thanks Visa. Why not block the whole fucking monthly amount so I can’t overstretch myself at all?

I’ve just been accepted on to a Masters course in International Politics, which is dandy, but I realise I’ve got to pay for that as well.

AND Pirates of the fucking Caribbean stole two-and-a-half hours of my life yesterday that I’ll never get back.

So apart from the three trips to Malta, one to New York, new bathroom, kitchen and furniture and the odd pint, I’m watching the pennies.

Donations welcome. Will write for food.

08/07/2006 | Omphaloskepsis | No Comments

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